so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
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