He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize