I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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