I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
another moral hangover. fuck.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
