You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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