i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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