just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
