please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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