Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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