They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
