It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Someone shattered a urinal.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
