porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
