I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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