She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
