If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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