I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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