Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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