the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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