You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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