We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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