please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
