Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
