the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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