u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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