Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
