But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
