a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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