So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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