nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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