He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
