I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
