my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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