Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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