found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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