Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
