Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
