I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
