You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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