kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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