why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
