DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love having hate sex.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Are we still banned from the library?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
