K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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