Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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