how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
