You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
