at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
