i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
