There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
