he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
