VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm getting married
To pizza
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
