cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
