I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
