after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
