I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
