so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
