32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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