Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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