Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
