Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
