I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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