We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
