You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think my vagina is haunted
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
