My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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