Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
