I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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