You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The power of my boobs compel you
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
