oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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