You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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