you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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