marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
