I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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