Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
