I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
