i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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