JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it hurts more in the daytime
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
